At the Comedy Cellar in New York City, I hosted another installment of “Hard Questions for Hard Times,” focusing on men’s perspectives in an increasingly feminized and deranged world. I was joined by the ultra-sharp Calum Nicholson, an English anthropologist, fellow at the Danube Institute in Budapest, and my friend, and American Raymond Ibrahim, a no-nonsense historian renowned for his unflinching analyses of Islam and the West. We dove headfirst into topics that are too often tiptoed around: Sexuality, identity, death, and relationships.
The room was packed with an engaged crowd, ready for raw, unfiltered dialogue. No safe spaces: Just honest exchanges that challenged assumptions and sparked thought.
An Epidemic of Cowardice
Dr. Calum Nicholson has become a close friend. We first met in Hungary in 2021. Since then, we’ve had countless spirited dinners together while hashing out the world’s problems over bottles of wine. He’s sincere, thoughtful, and not afraid to question assumptions.
Calum brought his anthropological lens. He dissected how modern societal shifts have eroded traditional male roles and left many men adrift in a sea of conflicting expectations. Raymond, drawing from his deep expertise on cultural clashes, highlighted ways in which ideological imports from abroad are reshaping Western notions of masculinity, to our detriment. Our conversation flowed naturally from personal anecdotes to broader geopolitical and social insights. The audience questions pushed us into territory that ranged from the pitfalls of hookup culture to the weaponization of identity politics. It was invigorating to see men and women grappling openly with these issues, free from the performative outrage that we’ve all come to expect.
Is Political Correctness Hiding Islam's True Face?
In Budapest, US scholar Raymond Ibrahim and I hit the streets to confront the growing problem of Muslim immigration in Western countries and the cowardice of our leaders to be honest about the nature of the problems this creates.
I was again struck by the palpable hunger for these kinds of conversations. People are not having these discussions in a university classroom, but they are having them in podcasts and in NYC’s Comedy Cellar.
As we wrapped up, the energy in the room was electric, with attendees lingering to continue the conversations over drinks. If you couldn’t make it, you can watch the video here:
We’ll be sharing more clips and reflections soon. These hard questions aren’t going away anytime soon.
Below, find the questions I asked Calum and Raymond.
Men’s Night with Calum Nicholson and Raymond Ibrahim
Lightning Round: Who Would You Save?
If a man can only save one person—his child or his wife—from a burning building, who should he choose?
If a man can only save one person—his mentally disabled child or his wife—from a burning building, who should he choose?
A man is forced to choose between saving his wife or his mother from a sinking ship. Who should he choose? Same scenario, do you take the spot or give it to a 13 yr. old?
If a man can only save one from his burning house—his severely physically disabled son or his cultural heritage artifacts handed down in his family for generations—what should he choose?
If a man can only save one—his intellectually gifted daughter or his infirm wife—from a sinking boat, who should he choose?
Lightening Round:
A man has fallen on economically hard times. He is presented with a unique economic opportunity that lasts a minimum of 10 years, but he must abandon his Western lifestyle and adopt new cultural norms in a foreign country. This means he will have far fewer personal freedoms and would have to pretend to be of a different faith. Should he do it?
Is it morally defensible for a man to kill a known serial rapist in his community if the legal system fails to act? What if the perpetrator is a serial child rapist?
If a man learns his unborn child will be severely disabled, is it ethical to pressure his partner into an abortion against her beliefs?
A man’s sister confesses she killed her abusive husband and asks him to help hide the body. Should he help her?
You’re walking down a street in a culturally divided city and see a group of local teens harassing a woman from a minority background at night. Do you intervene? Does the background of the assailants matter?
Is it ethical for a man to use lethal force against unarmed intruders who invade his home?
Should a man disown his son for joining ISIS?
A man’s 37 yr. old brother, who has never asked him for money, begs for half of his savings, but tells him he cannot tell him why. And he needs it immediately. Should he give it to him?
Fantastical Questions
If you could teleport once to alter one historical event, what event would that be?
A man without a wife and children discovers a parallel dimension portal in his basement, should he explore it alone, knowing he cannot come back and would forever abandoning his current life for unknown adventures?
Should a man trade his firstborn’s future for a magical artifact that grants eternal youth?
Scenarios
A man learns his partner concealed from him that in her past she had 12 abortions. What should he do?
Your wife of 6 years converts to Islam. What do you do?
Your 18-year-old son refuses to move out of the house. What do you do? What if it’s your daughter?
You find out that your brother is having sex with your 18 yr. old daughter. What do you do? 16? 14?
You are stranded in a disaster zone with a stranger who confesses to murdering a person for fun. Thinking you’ll both die, you pledge to not tell anyone. You survive. Should you inform authorities?
A man finds an unerring magical mirror that reflects future paths, but paths that can be changed if he intervenes. In one path he always finds a homicidal child who grows up to destroy all humanity. Should he kill the child? What if it’s your child.
A man awakens with superhuman abilities after a freak accident. Who should he help and hurt with these powers?
Questions
What constitutes a good life for a man?
Is there a difference between a good life for a man and a woman.
Is there a difference between a good life for a man in the West and one in other regions?
What is a good death for a man?
Is it possible to have a meaningful death if you’ve not had a meaningful life?
What is something every man should experience but not every woman?
Is discord inevitable for men seeking personal growth?
What ultimate sacrifice marks a legendary life for a man?
What interesting questions!!
I just pissed off my husband by asking him half of them while he was trying to read 😂
Very interesting stuff as always. However I think your discussion around men's issues and manning up is missing something. There was an interview that Triggernometry did recently that expressed this better. But there is something to the idea of being able to survive in a society where people are negatively viewing men.
Just because in the past men were able to "man up" in a particular way doesn't mean that being able to "man up" today is the same. The example from the Q&A where the woman suggested that her father and her brother were arguing about being tired at your job whether it's a white collar job that's more intellectual or a blue collar job which is more physical assumes that the blue collar job is inherently more valuable.
In the age of AI, we may have to come to terms with the idea that being able to "man up" might actually require us to realize that meaning can't be found in a job or a particular kind of job. Largely because jobs won't be done by humans. The truly manly will be those who don't despair in the face of that.